I’ve never really been the type of girl who was always dreaming about their wedding day. But I’ll be honest enough to say I’ve always wanted to be married young. So while it used to be a norm to get married at a young age, mainstream society has taken a major shift. It is now sadly assumed that young wives today are either extremely religious, “too traditional”, ignorant or destined for divorce. It’s quite funny the variation of reactions I’ve gotten ever since being engaged. I mean I’m only 22, why on earth would I be putting myself through this entire process at such a young age right? Or at least so I’ve heard..along with:
“Engaged? Wow, really? But you’re so young.” (I know right! young & gettin’ it!)
“Do you even know what true love is?” (I actually do and I get to experience it daily–Thanks for asking though.)
“Don’t you wanna live your life & have some fun?” (Who told you that having fun is reserved for singles??)
“They’re so many options out there, why be tied down now?” (I guess I just can’t feel the rope that Bran has been tying me down with and + I’d prefer not wasting my time in meaningless and empty relationships for another 7 years only to realize I should have probably gotten married at 22)
“Are you pregnant?” (Lol, Uhh…let’s just leave it at Lol.)
And my all time favorite– “Are you sure you’re READY for marriage?!?” (OMG, not this one again..)
While I’ve trained myself to have a certain level of patience with people who constantly bombard me with these questions (both strangers & friends alike), I decided to shed some light on the matter–you know, just clearing the air, helping you out a bit, answering all your questions once and for all.
You see, based on the questions and comments people tend to make about young marriage, I’ve come to realize that there is such a huge misconception when it comes on to young people choosing to tie the knot. Much of this misconception lies in the fact that for some strange reason, people are of the opinion that marriage somehow strips you of something. As if this decision will completely alter my life in the worst way possible. Another big one is the fact that people hold the view that most young people get married off a whim, with little to no thought about what they’re really getting themselves into and no support from their parents. However, My fiancé and I are not “rushing” anything. We’ve been talking about marriage for years now and it’s something we are both carefully and prayerfully entering into. As for our parents, they couldn’t be more supportive and I am so grateful that they are standing by our side.
People tend to be under the impression that marrying young hinders the individuals in that relationship. In contrast, I like to look at my relationship with Brandon as an addition to who I already am. I’m not “giving up on anything” or “losing out”. In fact, I’m gaining so much more. Marrying young isn’t suddenly disqualifying me from living a blissful life. Marriage was not created to hold anyone back, but to propel you forward and that has been the only direction I’ve been heading on this new journey. So thank you for your great concern, but NO– I don’t believe that marriage will ruin my life, neither do I think that it is the end of the world for me. It’s actually just the beginning. I’m not quite sure why people have such a negative image of marriage carved out in the forefront of their minds, but let me try and erase some of that a bit. Of course I’ll still be able to travel the world, it just means I’ll get to do it with my best friend by my side. Yes, I can still have nights out with my girls, and he can have his guy nights too (Maybe, Lol). And we’ll both certainly get to explore our careers in the same way we would have if we were apart. But now we just get the chance to support each other along the way.
I could give you a handful of reasons why I said Yes to Brandon. But here’s three:
1) Growing Together–> I’m beginning to feel like I’m the only one in my generation who thinks you don’t have to have it all together prior to marriage. I often hear my friends say they need to finish school, get their dream job, be financially ready and even have a home before taking the big step. This was actually how my fiance felt at one point too, but thank God for revelation! Lol. But seriously though, come on..where’s the fun in that? Is it odd that I don’t want to have all these things before making such a huge commitment? Am I wrong for wanting to grow with my partner? This is why I’ve always believed that nobody is ever “ready” for marriage in the truest sense of the word. This would mean that you’re fully prepared for marriage, but how is that even possible? The whole point of relationships and marriage is growth. I can’t ever be completely equipped and ready because that would limit my ability to grow by making mistakes and learning from them. Don’t take this the wrong way, there are definitely elements in your life which need to be in place before getting married. However, I definitely wouldn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to continue to witness my fiance’s growth in every aspect of his life. I honestly believe this will also make us stronger as a couple.
2) We get to experience every struggle & triumph..together–> This is so crucial to me. I’ll be the first to admit that we don’t have everything together and so I’m not naive to the fact that we will have to overcome more obstacles than the average newly weds in our initial phase of marriage. But you know what I’m most excited about? Being able to look back years from now and see the great transformation from living together in what may be a cardboard box (Lol) to our first apartment and then our very own home. I’m even more excited to see how we advance in our different career fields and then of course when we start building a family together. Basically, I think of it as an honor to be able to get to celebrate in each success and lament in each failure with my soon to be husband.
3) Because..Brandon.–> Not to be overly mushy and emotional, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I’m meant to be with Brandon. This isn’t to say I think we’re perfect. We have an immense amount of growing to do and there are still things that I am learning about him daily and vice versa. However, Brandon has been a light in my life since I met him. He has illuminated every dark moment I’ve experienced without even knowing it at times. He brings me to a place of constant self evaluation and well, that’s how I know he’s for me. Because he makes me see the parts of myself that I’ve hidden from everyone else for my entire life. The ugly side that most people would run from, he embraces and because of that I am always growing and changing for the better. He also tells me the hard truth without sugar coating it which though I was not used to, I can now appreciate his authenticity. So even though it may seem like the most obvious reason, I’ll say it anyway. I want to get married because I found Brandon and because God brought us together to ultimately honor him.
For those who have given us your well wishes, we truly appreciate it. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We’re aware that the journey isn’t easy, but we have tons of love & enough faith to believe that even though we’re far from perfect, we serve a perfect God who is able to keep us through anything and everything.
Until Next Time…