Doesn’t it suck when you truly believe that you’ve found your perfect match, but it still just can’t work out?! I used to be a firm believer that every failed relationship was a result of the persons involved. But Thank God for clarity because I’ve recognized that sometimes the persons have nothing to do with it.. the timing is just off. If you’re someone who believes that there’s no such thing as the wrong time, then this post is probably not for you.
So check me out– you met the person you believe you can’t spend the rest of your life without. But it turns out you guys just can’t seem to get it right! What’s the problem? Let’s see– maybe you met them just a few weeks before they were about to migrate to another country or you formed an incredible bond with someone who was already in another relationship or just getting out of one that lasted way too many years. There’s also those cases where your partner may be fearful because things are “getting too serious” too soon and pull away. While on the other hand, you may find yourself in a situation where you’re ready to settle down, but your partner just “needs more time.” (rolls eyes profusely)
Whatever the case may be, you find yourself in a state of stagnancy because you end up in a position where you’re fighting for a person that is simply not meant to be in your life at that specific time.
Not convinced enough? A few months ago, I wrote a post that touched briefly on how I felt when my fiance and I broke up. For the life of me I could not understand why things just weren’t working in our favor. We tried over and over again to make things work and we always ended up right where we started. I had tons of people telling me that “maybe he’s just not the right one,” but that could never sit well with me because I always knew he was. Now I’m able to see that it just wasn’t the right timing. There were things we both needed to work on separately before being able to maintain a healthy relationship.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here– I’m not trying to give you false hope because the truth is, not everyone will have my story. Not everyone will get the opportunity to get back together with someone simply because it’s not meant to happen that way. But I do strongly believe that two people who are right for each other can be together at the wrong time. In most cases we usually see the signs from pretty early on, but we ignore them–thinking that we have some sort of special power to change particular traits about the person (this will NEVER work btw.)
Your best bet is to act on the signs and red flags by mutually choosing to dial it back a bit until the time is right. And yes, it’s true..you’ll know exactly when the right time is. I would say that growth is the #1 reason why the wrong time can even be considered a “thing.” You could meet the person you’re meant to be with but their not at the place they need to be in order to have a stable relationship. Whether this is mentally, emotionally or spiritually– there are certain parts of their life that’s simply lacking and without being whole as an individual, any relationship you form will always crumble. So if someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, it’s not always an excuse. It may very well be their reality. Don’t fight for what’s not meant to be yours.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, here are 4 things you should do:
1) Let them go – Stop holding on to that small shred of hope. You’re completely draining yourself from fighting for someone who isn’t meant to be in your life just yet. It’s okay to love someone from a distance. (inserts cliche quote here about letting them go and if they come back then blah blah blah) Lol.
2) Pray – We often think that God doesn’t care so much about our personal life. This could not be further from the truth. Talk to God and let him know your heart’s desire. Pray for wisdom and strength and be sure to tell him that if that particular person is in his will for you, then you need the patience to wait for the right time.
3) Trust God’s timing – You may think you know what’s best for you, but God’s timing is perfect. Whenever something in your life goes in a different direction than you planned, it’s just an indication that God just blocked something that could have had the potential to ruin you.
4) Continue working on YOU – Don’t allow the situation to make you lose sight of the ultimate goal. Keep on living and use the time to chase all your dreams. Be the best you that you can be and just wait for it…
If that person is for you, they’ll come back full circle completely ready to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Have any thoughts on this? Please do share! 🙂
Until Next Time…