I’ve been approached a few times by people who say they know they would be happy if they were in my position. I usually start laughing in my head because I wonder if they know how far from the truth that really is. You see, while they’re looking at me, I’m often looking at someone else thinking:
“My life would be so perfect IF…”
I had their job or their..
and of course their body + face & the list goes on..
Why are we always comparing? When did that become such a prevailing factor in the way we live our lives?
Many people will point to social media for this generation. It’s crazy how many of us envision the life we want based on a few posts from a complete stranger’s Instagram page. Not to mention the way we want our social life to be simply because someone you know has a few more hundred twitter followers than you do. It’s baffling to think how many times we’ve become distracted thinking that we’re not good enough due to the numerous photoshopped bodies and filtered faces that we scroll through on a daily basis. Funny thing is, I can almost assure you that those same people who we idolize so much are spending their days looking on someone else in the exact way.
It would be one thing if comparison allowed us to gain something. But what does all this really lead to? Nothing but a life filled with lots of dissatisfaction paired with unhappiness. We’re not satisfied with the way we look, the things we have and the life we live. We’re in a constant state of longing and wanting. We’re so busy chasing the next best thing that we never stop to recognize the value in what’s right in front of us. We each have a different story to tell and I believe that by trying to be like someone else, we’re taking the beauty out of uniqueness because we’re too busy trying to be replicas of everyone else.
What ever happened to originality? Can someone tell me where’s the fun in wanting to be exactly like someone else? I think a common mistake we make is when we only choose to see the end result of someone’s process. People love the idea of someone having it all together, but fail to see all the hard work that was put in to get there. You have no idea what someone has done to get to a certain place in their life.
I’ll say it again just to let it sink in..
You have no idea what someone else has done to get to a certain place in their life. So stop comparing your first scene to some else’s climax. The journey you’re on is unique to YOU. The steps you take will be different from the steps your friends took. You rob yourself so much by consuming yourself with things that you have absolutely no control over. You see the thing about comparison is that:
1) Comparison never really ceases: You think you want what someone else has, but when you finally get it…something is still lacking. In addition to that, you can never stop simply because there will always be better out there…
Someone will always be prettier, smarter and more well rounded than you. But that’s okay because that’s how it was meant to be. You’re not living your life to be better than anyone else. You’re simply living to be the best you that you can be. Appreciate the portion that you have and watch God will elevate you to levels you never even thought were possible.
2) We compare the wrong things: I read an article that said that we live our lives comparing externals. We usually compare ourselves to others based on material things such as the size of our home or the cost of our cars. However, externals are in no means a good way to measure. The author stated that “Net-worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth.” (Preaaaaachhh!)
3) Comparison makes us lose sight of our goal: While we’re busy looking in someone else’s backyard, the value of our own garden is slowly depreciating. We only have control over our own life, not others. What we achieve is solely based on the efforts we make. Therefore, when we make it our point of duty to compare ourselves to others, we are simply wasting our time. It’s a major distraction from the major changes we could be making in our own life.
I only have one challenge for you:
If you find yourself comparing your portion to someone else’s this week, quickly re-direct your thoughts and compare yourself to your former self. What were you doing last year this time? What obstacles were in your way? What friends were holding you back? Seriously take the time to evaluate your current state and see the vast change that has occurred in your own life. I can bet you’ve come a pretty long way huh? Celebrate the person you are today, in this very moment. The things you’re doing now are as a result of the plans you made years ago. You may not be getting to your destination as fast as you wanted to, but you’re leaving your footprints everywhere you go.
If you have a pretty good hang of life so far, then you should always be growing and becoming a better version of yourself. If this is the case, don’t compare yourself to someone else who is on a different path than you are. Instead, compare your current state to the way you were a few years back. If we choose to do this from now on, I think we’ll be able to take back little pieces of our happiness day by day.
Have any thoughts on this? Don’t hold back! 🙂
Until Next Time…